親愛的安妮：您最近的一篇文章提到了彼得原理——即人們可能會被晉升到他們能力水平難以勝任的崗位，.我對這個話題很感興趣，因為我擔心這個原理可能恰好適合我的情況。我今年29歲，剛剛得到升職，現在一家廣告公司管理一支客戶經理團隊。雖然他們全都比我年長，也比我更有經驗。（事實上，三年前我剛被公司聘用的時候，其中的兩位同事還曾負責對我進行過培訓。）

????這著實有些令人尷尬。我之前從沒做過別人的上司。說實話，能得到這份工作，我也非常吃驚。我能感覺到，團隊中某些成員對我流露出怨恨的情緒，因為他們在工作中似乎開始拖拖拉拉（比如錯過工作的截止日期等）。這意味著我必須得跟他們好好談談他們最近不盡如人意的表現，可我對這種事還有些恐懼。您有什么建議嗎？——E.U.

親愛的E.U.：你的經歷是非常有趣的歷史重演。這里就有另外一個一樣的故事，芝加哥JB培訓方案公司（JB Training Solutions）負責人布拉德?卡希說：“馬基亞維利曾寫道：‘如果不能兩全，與其被愛，不如被怕?！藗兯坪跬浟说诙糠?。管理者應該以獲得尊重和喜愛為目標——但如果一定要選擇其一，那么尊重更加重要?！?/p>

????卡希參與編寫了一本新書，名為《管理者3.0：千禧一代重寫管理法則指南》（Manager 3.0: A Millennial's Guide to Rewriting the Rules of Management）。我想你對這本書應該會很感興趣。書中主要為對扎珀斯（Zappos）、團購網站Groupon、西南航空（Southwest Airlines）、谷歌（Google）和其他有大量年輕領導者的公司進行的微型案例研究。

????美國當前人口統計結果或許很快就會反映在大多數公司中：雖然在年長的同事眼中，千禧一代（1981年至2000年出生）“只是孩子”，但美國勞工統計局（Bureau of Labor Statistics）預測，截至2015年，職場中Y一代的人數將超過嬰兒潮一代。由于X一代的人數太少，難以填補嬰兒潮一代退休（每天有10,000人會達到65歲）所留下的空缺，所以許多千禧一代紛紛開始走上管理崗位。

????卡希說：“這種狀況非常棘手。但要記住，你當前的擔憂只有一部分與年齡有關。新官上任總會有一些疑惑和緊張不安，這與年齡無關。這是非常艱難的轉變，因為你要走出自己的舒適區，進入一個陌生的領域?！?/p>

????此外，關于你感受到的怨恨情緒，卡希認為，或許其中的一部分來自你的臆想。他曾在許多公司提供領導力培訓，在這些公司“新上任的年輕管理者感受到的怨恨往往多于實際情況。而他們之所以會產生這樣的想法，或許是因為他們先入為主的預測?！被蛟S，你的團隊之所以錯過最終期限，還有其他的原因，與你沒有關系。把情況弄清楚總沒壞處。

????與此同時，對于如何樹立自己的信譽，同時“向團隊和你自己證明你配得上這份工作”，卡希提出給出了三條建議。首先，他說道：“你必須承認，你之前的隊友們確實比你經驗更加豐富——但要成為老板，所需要的不止經驗。如果人們看到你工作非常努力，而且做出了非常明智的決策，事情一定會逐漸好轉?！币晳T這樣一種觀點，即要獲得團隊的尊重，可能需要六個月甚至一年的時間?？ㄏＱa充說：“這種事沒有捷徑。必須要有足夠的耐心?！?/p>

????此外，卡希建議：“充分利用同事的經驗。向他們征求對于團隊決策的意見。即使你做出截然不同的決定，也要讓他們知道你考慮過他們的觀點?！?/p>

Dear Annie: Your recent article mentioning the Peter Principle -- which dictates that people tend to get promoted beyond their level of competence -- caught my eye because I'm a little worried that it might apply to me. I'm 29 and just got moved up to a job where I'm now managing my team of account executives at an ad agency, even though they are all older and more experienced. (In fact, two of these colleagues trained me when I was hired three years ago.)

????This is really awkward. I've never been a boss before and, to tell you the truth, I'm surprised I got this job. I'm sensing a lot of resentment from several of the people who were my teammates, to the point where they seem to be dragging their feet (missing deadlines, etc.), which means I have to talk to them about their not-so-great performance lately, and I am totally dreading that. Any suggestions? -- Ethelred the Unready

Dear E.U.: Interesting historical reference, there. Here's another one: "Machiavelli wrote, 'It's better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both,'" notes Brad Karsh, head of Chicago-based JB Training Solutions. "People tend to forget the second part. Managers should aim to be both respected and liked — but if you have to pick one, respect is better."

????Karsh is co-author of a new book you might want to take a look at, called Manager 3.0: A Millennial's Guide to Rewriting the Rules of Management. It's full of mini-case studies from Zappos, Groupon (GRPN), Southwest Airlines (LUV), Google (GOOG), and other companies with lots of young bosses.

????Given current U.S. demographics, that may soon describe most companies: Although Millennials (born between 1981 and 2000) often look to older workers like they are "just kids," the Bureau of Labor Statistics projects that Gen Y will outnumber Boomers in the workplace by 2015. Since the number of Gen Xers is too small to fill all the corner offices vacated by retiring Boomers — who are turning 65 at a rate of 10,000 a day — many Millennials like you are stepping into management jobs.

????"It's a tricky situation," Karsh notes. "But bear in mind that your uneasiness is only partly age-related. Almost every brand new boss, at any age, has doubts and jitters. It's a tough transition because you're moving beyond your comfort zone and onto unfamiliar ground."

????Moreover, regarding that resentment you're sensing, Karsh wonders whether you might not be imagining at least some of it. He has done leadership coaching at companies where "new, young managers are seeing more resentment than there really is. They see it because they expect it." Maybe there's some reason why your team has been blowing deadlines that has nothing to do with you. It can't hurt to ask.

????Meanwhile, Karsh has three suggestions for building your credibility and "proving to your team, and yourself, that you deserve this job." First, he says, "you have to acknowledge that, yes, your former teammates do have more experience than you do — but that isn't all it takes to be a boss. Things will get better, slowly, if everyone sees that you're working hard and making good decisions." Get used to the idea that winning the team's respect could take six months or even a year, Karsh adds: "There is no quick fix. It takes patience."

????At the same time, Karsh suggests, "Tap into all that experience your colleagues have. Ask for their input on decisions. Even if you decide to go a different way, acknowledge that you've considered their point of view."??