親愛的安妮：您關于（目前）《堅守崗位不跳槽的4個理由》?的文章引起了我的共鳴，因為我現在的老板快把我逼瘋了。我也收到過其他的工作邀請，可再有18個月，我就能被納入這家公司的固定收益退休金計劃，所以我認為至少在此之前，我應該留下來。當然，這在一定程度上是因為，我在其他地方從未等到能享受這種福利就離開了。

????可問題在于，我的上司是“彼得原則”的典型代表——他的地位與他的能力完全不符——他犯過的錯誤不僅讓公司蒙受了損失，也破壞了整個團隊在高層和客戶當中的信譽。而且，他沒有一絲一毫的界線感，不分晝夜的給我發郵件或者短信，連周末也不放過，一遍遍地問一些并不緊急的事情。您能給我一些建議嗎？——度日如年的人

親愛的C：蓋洛普民意調查（Gallup）最近對一百萬美國員工進行了調查，結果顯示，辭掉工作的人中，有75%是因為忍受不了頂頭上司。聽到這些，你應該不會感到驚訝了吧？

????波士頓職業發展公司凱斯通聯合公司（Keystone Associates）高級副總裁兼高管導師杰恩?馬特森稱，這種情況非?？上?，因為只要一點真誠的溝通，就能解決你的一些煩惱。她說：“對于上司所犯的錯誤，許多人從來不會進行坦誠的交流。他們不會努力改善與上司的關系，而是選擇離開——而通常情況下，他們在下一份工作當中也會重復同樣的錯誤?！?/p>

????簡而言之，你或許需要學會如何管理你的上司。馬特森說：“要讓自己更快樂，你可以做很多事情。如果你管理上司的方法得當，他或她甚至都不會有任何感覺。而你也會因為對上司有所幫助而獲得加分?！彼忉尩?，關鍵是通過強調他能獲得哪些好處來得到你自己想要的東西。

????首先，來說一下不停發來的短信和郵件。睿仕管理咨詢公司（Right Management）上個月進行的調查顯示，約有三分之一（36%）的員工表示，上司在正常工作時間之外，依然用電子郵件對他們狂轟濫炸，另外有15%抱怨在周末和假期也有同樣的遭遇。

????人們很容易把原因推到科技身上，而且你上司缺乏界線感，這確實是兩個方面的原因——但你是否總是立刻回復，進而不經意中助長了這種做法？馬特森說：“如果你收到每一條信息后便馬上回復，這其實是在暗示‘我有空?！?，以后不要這樣做?！?/p>

????相反，要等到收件箱里積攢了五六封之后，再回復一條簡短的信息：“我看到你有許多關于某某賬戶的問題。我們明天上午（或者周一上午）一早就來解決這個問題吧。我可以告訴你所有細節，然后我們可以討論一下?！敝缶筒灰龠M行任何回復。

Dear Annie: Your column about staying in one's current job (for now) struck a chord with me, because I too am stuck working for a boss who drives me crazy. I've had a couple of other job offers, but I'm only 18 months away from being vested in this company's defined-benefit pension plan, and -- partly because I never stayed anywhere long enough to get vested before -- I think it would be smart to stick around at least until then.

????The problem is, I report to someone who is a classic example of the Peter Principle -- he's been promoted beyond his ability -- and he's making mistakes that are costing the company money and starting to damage our whole team's reputation with higher-ups and customers. He also has no sense of boundaries and emails or texts me at all hours of the day and night, and on weekends, over and over again, to ask about things that are not urgent at all. Do you have any suggestions for me? --Counting the Hours

Dear Counting: You probably won't be surprised to hear that about 75% of people who quit their jobs do so because they can't stand their bosses, according to a recent Gallup poll of more than a million U.S. employees.

????That's unfortunate, says Jayne Mattson, a senior vice president and executive coach at Boston-based career development firm Keystone Associates, because a little honest communication might go a long way toward fixing at least some of what bugs you. "So many people don't ever have a candid conversation with their boss about what's wrong," she notes. "Instead of trying to make the relationship better, they just leave -- and, too often, repeat the same mistake in their next job."

????In short, maybe you need to learn to manage your boss. "There are lots of things you can do to make yourself happier," says Mattson. "If you manage your boss well, he or she won't even realize you're doing it. You'll just get points for being really helpful." The key, she explains, is to get what you want by emphasizing how it would benefit him.

????First, let's talk about those incessant texts and emails. About one-third (36%) of employees in a poll last month by consultants Right Management said they work for people who bombard them with emails after regular work hours, and another 15% complained of the same thing on weekends and vacations.

????It's easy to blame technology, and your boss's lack of boundaries, since both play a part, for sure -- but are you unwittingly encouraging these intrusions by answering them right away? "If you respond to every message as soon as you receive it, you're indicating that you're available," says Mattson. "Don't do that."

????Instead, wait until five or six of them have piled up in your inbox and then respond with a brief message of your own: "I see you have lots of questions about the Ostrich account. Let's meet first thing tomorrow morning (or Monday morning), when I can give you all the details, and discuss it." Then stop answering.