Please, God, let Sarah Palin’s book tour be over!

????BY STANLEY BING

????I’m in Logan Airport in Boston this morning. It’s 5:30 AM. On the radio coming here, the top news had something to do with Sarah Palin. I say the news, but it’s not news. It’s just Sarah Palin. On the radio, you can’t see her in her nice red sweatshirt. But it was still her. She was running through her memorized speech about the Middle East.

????On the way through security, there were televisions in the ceiling. Barbara Walters was interviewing Sarah Palin. I couldn’t hear what she was talking about, but it was definitely her.

????In the book/magazine/gum store, there she was again. Then there was a split screen of two other people who were talking about her. Then there she was again. She was talking about the economy. I’m not interested in what Sarah Palin has to say at this point about the economy. Perhaps that’s churlish of me, but there you are.

????Now I’m having a bagel and coffee at the airport bar outside my gate. On the four television sets above the bar are Justin Timberlake, a commercial for Freedom Debt Relief (twice)… and Sarah Palin. This time I can see the red sweatshirt. On the airport Muzak is REM. They’re singing “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.” I’m not making it up.

????I know there are many, many people who want to see Sarah Palin. It’s just that I’m not one of the people who does. She’s a very attractive person, no question about it. But she scares me. Perhaps “scares” is not the right word. Whenever I see her I get a stabbing feeling that the world is not of my making.

????One day, I imagine that the Sarah Palin book tour will be over, and the machine will go back to promoting its next product.

????I can’t wait.