從“有故事的人”成為一個會講故事的人：你的溝通技能將從此爆表

????“一個人就是一段故事?！?/p>

????——丹麥作家愛莎克?迪內森

????在這個專欄打頭的幾篇文章中，我們已經分享了一些現代領導者如何將講故事作為一種最強大領導力工具的經驗。這并不出奇，古往今來的領導者都曾使用個人故事、寓言和軼事來幫助聽眾有效地吸取和整合信息、知識、價值與策略。

????除了要懂得故事的力量，我們還需要知道怎樣做才能成為一個會講故事的人。我曾聽人說過：“當然，我明白講故事的意義，但我是否要付出一定努力，才能使自己變成一個會講故事的人？這種能力貌似不是自然生成的?！蔽铱倳卮鹫f：“是的，我理解。曾幾何時，直立行走、讀書寫字、使用電腦也曾經是非常不自然的事。不過，一旦明白了‘為什么’學習這些技能是值得的，你就會很樂意這樣做。對嗎？”

????因此，在本文中，我想告訴讀者，花點時間努力成為一個會講故事的人，具有令人信服的理由。但愿更多的經理人和領導者能夠學會講故事，而不是干巴巴地擺數據、定方向、說一些陳辭濫調。接下來，我就給你說說為什么你應該在2015年、乃至余下的整個人生中，成為一個會講故事的人。

????人們會記住故事并分享故事。儲存在人類大腦中的記憶往往是各種故事，故事有開始、過程和結局。哪怕聽者忘掉你的數據已經很久了，他們仍會記得你的故事，以及其中所隱含的智慧。如果你的故事是真實而吸引人的，他們會非常樂于與他人分享。很多源自個人經歷的領導力故事，甚至有可能獲得自身的生命力，然后像病毒一樣在你的企業或社交網絡上廣泛傳播。

????故事會引起所有的感覺、記憶和情感。做個小試驗，現在嚴格遵照我的指示：我現在禁止你想象一頭紫色的大象。重復一遍：現在不要想象一只紫色的大象。然后，不要想象這頭紫色的大象穿著溜冰鞋，以100公里的時速從山路上滑下，它的脖子上系著一條在微風中飄動的鮮紅圍巾。不要想象它在滑行過程中臉上掛著喜悅而自由的微笑。

????結果如何？事實上，一旦你讀了上述句子，我立刻引起了你的想象，你已經在想象中成功建立了這樣一頭紫色大象的形象。同時，你又利用自己的記憶，產生了高速、興奮、鮮紅和紫色等聯想。引人入勝，令人無法抗拒的故事會一下子抓住你的心。我講了一個故事，但你在自己的想象中將它建立了起來，并牢記在心。當你饒有興致地構想這些形象時，你甚至有可能露出會心的微笑。

????故事能讓聽者得出自己的結論。假設你有一個基于個人真實經歷的故事，在這個故事中，你或另外某個人經歷了一項非常艱巨的挑戰，經歷了很多挫敗和阻礙，由于選擇不當而犯了很多難堪的錯誤，但最終克服了所有困難，獲得了杰出的成績。對于聽眾來說，聆聽這個故事也是一個間接的學習過程。他們會對這個故事給予很大的關注，首先會判明情況，感受到這些失敗決策所帶來的痛苦，以及結果的不確定性所帶來的壓力，關注這個人如何克服了失誤，感受到他們最終成功的喜悅。由于你采取了故事的模式，聽者會自動吸收關鍵的經驗，并且輕松地記住它們。

????故事能建立信任。上述例子的最好一面在于，你可以避免純粹的說教或耳提面命。因為人們不喜歡你命令他們做什么。但是他們卻喜歡你用故事來告訴他們怎樣做是有效的，并且樂于把學到的經驗用于未來的情境中。實際中，通過講述你個人的失敗故事，你還會得到人們更多的信任。當你把犯錯和失敗的例子講給他人時，你也就展示了自己人性化的一面，他們會自然而然地更喜歡和信任你。因此，故事可以讓你從一個“任務”型領導者變成一個專注于構建基于信任的人際關系的領導者。

????故事能幫人們想象并擁抱一個更光明的未來。作為領導者，你的成功取決于能否激發全體員工參與的愿望，以及他們的創意和激情。美國前總統肯尼迪有一個傳奇故事：在美國首次登月任務期間，肯尼迪曾經去美國航空航天局訪問。中途去洗手間時，他看見一位男士正在那里拖地板?？夏岬舷蛩麍笠晕⑿?，感謝他把房間打掃得這樣干凈。那個男人馬上回答：“不，先生，我不是在拖地板，而是在幫助我們登月?！鄙钍芨袆拥目夏岬蠈⑦@個故事分享給了其它人，這個故事迅速火了起來。在這個故事中，NASA就是這樣一個各個層級的人充分投身宏偉愿景的組織，不管他們每個人的日常工作是什么。不妨想象一下，如果你的公司的員工也有類似的激情會怎樣？你的員工是否因一個激動人心的愿景而興奮？還是他們只是簡單地在拖地板？

????“To be a person is to have a story to tell.”

????——IsakDuneson

????In previous articles on this blog we have shared our experience regarding the use of storytelling as one of the most powerful leadership tools available to modern leaders. It’s really no surprise, since leaders throughout the ages have used personal stories, parable and anecdotes effectively to ensure that listeners could easily absorb and integrate information, knowledge, values and strategies.

????Beyond merely understanding the power of stories, however, there remains the need for specific action and commitment to become a storyteller. I hear people say: “Sure, I can see your point about telling stories…but do I really need to make the effort to become a storyteller myself? It doesn’t seem to come naturally to me.” My answer is always something like: “Yes, I understand. And there was also a time when walking, reading and writing, typing and using a computer program seemed unnatural. But when you clearly understood ‘why’ learning these skills was worth the time, you simply got busy and did it. Right?”

????So in this article I want to remind readers of the compelling reasons why it is worth your time to become an effective storyteller, in the hopes that more managers and leaders will just get busy learning to tell stories instead of just spewing out information, directives and platitudes. Here are some of the many reasons why it is so worth it for you to decide, today, to become a great storyteller in 2015 and for the rest of your life:

????People Remember and Share Stories.The human brain is actually structured to retain memories in story format, with a beginning, middle and end. Long after listeners have forgotten your data, they will remember your story, and the wisdom embedded within it. And, if your story is authentic and compelling they will eagerly share it with others. Many leadership stories from your personal experience even have the potential to go viral, taking on a life of their own, spreading far and wide in your organization or social networks.

????Stories Engage all the Senses, Memories and the Emotions.Try this now, following my instructions exactly: I now forbid you to imagine a purple elephant. I repeat: Do NOT think of a purple elephant right now. Further, I forbid you to imagine a purple elephant on roller skates, whizzing down a mountain road at 100 km per hour, with a bright red scarf around its’ neck, streaming behind it in the breeze. And do NOT imagine the blissful smile on the purple elephant’s face as it goes whizzing down the mountain, freedom of the ride.

????Ok, how did you do? The fact is, once you read my words, I instantly engaged your imagination and you have installed a purple elephant in your imagination. At the same time, you have accessed your own memories of moving at high speed, feeling joyful, bright red and purple colors. Stories are immediate, engaging and irresistible. I told the story, but you created it in your own imagination, and you now own it. Perhaps you even smiled as you had fun doing this.

????Stories Allow Listeners to Draw their own Conclusions.Let’s suppose you have a personal story about an authentic experience in which you, or someone else, faced an overwhelming challenge, experienced multiple frustrating obstacles, made some embarrassing mistakes due to bad choices, but in the end, overcame the difficulties and demonstrated outstanding results. As your listeners experience your story, they are also learning vicariously: they are paying close attention by first identifying with the situation, feeling the pain of those unworkable choices, the tension and uncertainty about the outcome, noticing how the person overcame their mistakes and feeling the joy of their ultimate success. They automatically integrate the key learnings and retain them easily due to the story format.

????Stories Build Trust.Best of all, in the above example, you avoided the fatal error of just preaching or “telling” people what to do. Because people don’t like being told what to do! But, they do love a story that allows them to decide for themselves what was effective and willingly apply their learning to future situations. In fact, you will gain more trust from people by telling failure stories from your own experience than by merely boasting and bragging about all your successes. When you reveal your mistakes and vulnerabilities with others, you show your human side and they automatically like you better and trust you more. This is where stories can move you from being a leader focused on ‘transactions’ (tasks) to a leader focused on human relationships grounded in trust.

????Stories Can Help People Imagine and Embrace an Inspiring Future.As a leader, your success depends on how well you can inspire the willing participation, creativity and passion of others at all levels in your organization. There is a story about US president John Kennedy that illustrates the power of a vision that is embraced by all the players. According to this story, which has since become legendary, Kennedy was visiting NASA during the time leading up to the first US moon mission. During a break he went to use the restroom and encountered a man mopping the floor. Smiling at the man, Kennedy thanked him for keeping the room spotless. The man quickly replied, “No sir, I don’t mop floors. I’m helping us go to the moon.” Deeply touched, Kennedy shared the story with others and it went viral. Here was an organization whose members at every level had fully integrated the Vision into their thinking, regardless of what daily tasks they performed. Imagine, if you can, the power of a group of people similarly inspired in your organization. Are your people excited and inspired by a compelling vision…or are they simply mopping floors?