怎樣規避“信任稅”（下）

????我們在本系列的第一部分中探討了合作的性質，合作關系從何而來？合作關系為什么會破裂？我們給合作下的定義是：“所有人為他們所參與的活動獲得成功而共同努力?！蔽覀兺瑫r發現，一旦人們之間“出現狀況”，他們就會編造故事，加入個人感情，變得怒不可遏，然后合作關系就走向終點。

????這種情況并不是每次都會發生，也不是每個人都會碰上，但它出現的頻率非常高。出現這樣的局面時，我們就進入了巴里?奧什里所說的“舍本逐末”的境地。它充滿了戲劇性，它缺乏信任，人們互相責難，相互羞辱，它導致整個體系損失大量的能量。因為陷入了消極心理，或者奧什里所說的“舍本逐末”的“老步調”，我們再也不會“為了自己所參與的活動、過程或項目獲得成功而齊心協力?！?/p>

????合作關系的破裂給組織機構的成功造成的損失令人震驚?！吧岜局鹉泵磕甓紩o企業和個人帶來數十億美元的成本，和真正的戰爭別無二致。具有諷刺意味的是，圍繞“這些狀況”的爭端經常是因為人們相互為對方編造的故事而起……隨后他們甚至還會把這些故事當真！

????有沒有另外一種可能性？好消息是，換上一幅新的眼鏡來觀察和體會他人世界中的“先決條件”后，我們就有可能創建起奧什里所說的組織機構“核心圈”。在這個核心圈中，人們之間的合作生機勃勃，一片繁榮。人與人之間高度信任，員工流失率很低。工作進展迅速，障礙得到掃除，目標得以實現。人們對自己成為其中一員既興奮又高興，甚至愿意向前多走一步，而這正是員工積極主動的定義。沒錯，所有這些都有可能實現。不過，它需要管理者對自己所領導的整個體系有清晰的認知，而且有能力引領別人也看到整個體系。

????長期以來，科學方法一直認為，要想得到不同的結果，就要調整實驗變量。奧什里建議我們考慮進行下列調整：

????? 學習在自己所處的體系中主動體會讓他人苦苦掙扎的那些“條件”。

????? 確立個人立場，做出承諾，保持合作關系，不要陷入“老步調”而不能自拔——也就是在“出現某些狀況”時變得消極起來。

????? 定期擠出一些時間，以便體系中的所有成員都有機會向別人說明他們自己的“世界”中局勢如何，這樣其他人就能了解他們的情況；這樣做還能讓他們為體系中的其他部門提供后者需要的有價值信息，以便推進項目的進展。

????領導的新定義。這個理論聽起來頭頭是道，但說起來容易做起來難。管理者在其中必須發揮作用。但在這里我們要賦予“領導”這個詞什么樣的定義呢？

????“領導者是這樣一批人，無論他們在組織機構中擔任什么樣的職位或責任，他們的立場一直是支持和維護自己所在體系中的所有合作關系，以便幫助這個體系中的所有成員獲得成功?！?/p>

????領導意味著通過以身作則來引領別人。有些“東西”似乎不可避免地針對我們，對此我們都要決定自己將做出怎樣的反應。我們可以本能地作出反應，然后進入“舍本逐末”這樣一個下行螺旋之中；或者我們也可以不慌不忙地觀察自己的反應，然后選擇最有利于追求合作的方式。實際情況表明，“舍本逐末”不僅似曾相似，而且可以預見。而核心圈的生態則不可預知，雖然它是人類的可能狀態，而且一直都存在。

????In part 1 of this series we looked at the nature of partnerships, where they come from and how they can be lost. We adopted a definition of partnership: “when each person is jointly committed to the success of whatever endeavor they are in.” And, we saw that when “stuff happens” between people, they make up stories, take things personally, get angry and that’s the end of partnership.

????Not every time, not everyone, but with great regularity. When this happens, we are living in what Barry Oshry calls “The Side Show” – a place of drama, loss of trust, blaming and shaming – with great energy loss for the system. Because when we are in the reactive mentality or “Old Dance” of the “Side Show,” we are no longer “jointly committed to the success of whatever endeavor, process, or project we are in.”

????And the cost of failed partnerships to organizational success can be staggering.

????Not unlike true war, the “Side Show” costs businesses and people billions of dollars every single year. Ironically, the war of “stuff” is regularly triggered by the stories we make up about each other…and then take as real!

????What Else is Possible? The good news is that, with a new set of lenses that allow us to see into and experience the “pre-existing conditions” of others’ worlds, we have the possibility to create what Oshry calls “The Center Ring” of the organization. In the Center Ring, partnerships flourish and prosper. Trust is high and stays high. Things happen quickly, obstacles are overcome, objectives achieved. And people are excited and happy to be a part of it–even ready to “go the extra mile” –the very definition of the Actively Engaged employee. Yes, all that IS possible. However, it requires leaders who can clearly see the entire system they are leading, and who are capable of leading others to see the whole system as well.

????The Scientific Method has long held that to obtain a different outcome, one should change the experimental variables. These are several changes that Oshry suggests we consider:

????? Learn to have active empathy for the “conditions” in which other players in the system struggle to survive.

????? Take a personal stand, a commitment, to stay in partnership, rather than fall into the trance of “The Old Dance” – being reactive when “Stuff happens.”

????? Create regular “Times Out of Time” in which there are opportunities for all members of the system to express what is happening in their “worlds,” so that others can understand their experience, and to share valuable information needed by other parts of the system in order to move their projects ahead.

????New Definition of Leadership. All of this theory sounds good, but it is easier said than done. This is where leaders must play their roles. But what is the definition of leadership we are using here?

????“Leaders are those people, who regardless of their position or role in the organization, consistently take a stand to support and maintain partnerships throughout the system they are in, to support the success of everyone in the system.”

????Leading means leading by personal example. Each of us has a choice about how we respond to the “Stuff” that inevitably seems directed at us. We can react instinctively and enter the downward spiral of the Side Show, or we can take the time to observe our reactions and then choose in favor of our commitment to partnership. The Side Show, it turns out, is familiar and predictable. Living in the Center Ring is not predictable, though it is always there as a human possibility.