????親愛的安妮：我正在向一家軟件公司求職，這是一份我夢寐以求的工作。到目前為止，我已經通過了電話面試和技術資格篩選，接下來就是現場面試了。我從商務社交網站LinkedIn上面搜索了一下招聘經理的情況，發現我面試當天恰好是他的生日。如果我在面試的時候，跟他說聲“生日快樂”，可以嗎？又或者，這會表明我在調查這個人，反而顯得古怪？我想，要是再帶一張生日賀卡那就太過分了，是嗎？——好奇君

????親愛的好奇君：這是個很有趣的問題。道格?謝德說道：“我的第一反應就是，‘為什么不能祝生日快樂呢？’畢竟，既然這位招聘經理把自己的出生日期放到LinkedIn的個人資料中，那就是公開信息。所以，就算提到它又能有什么壞處？”道格?謝德是招聘公司WinterWyman的首席顧問。

????當然，如今每個人都會用谷歌搜索，查看彼此在LinkedIn和Facebook上的個人資料，人們很容易就能找到其他人的大量信息。高管求職網站TheLadders.com的一份最新調查顯示，62%的求職者在與面試官見面之前都會進行仔細的研究，只有35%的求職者僅僅調查公司情況。謝德稱：“不會有面試官因為你查看他或她的LinkedIn個人資料而感到吃驚。相反，他們反而會非常期待你這么做?！?/p>

????但經過仔細考慮之后，謝德表示，由于一個許多求職者都會忽視的問題，還是跳過生日祝福這個環節為好。他進一步說解釋說：“求職面試與你和其他任何人進行的普通對話不同，因為求職面試牽扯到法律問題。根據法律規定，有些話題是面試官的‘雷區’。如果你主動提起這樣的話題，可能會讓招聘經理陷入尷尬的境地?！?/p>

????面試官會盡量繞開年齡問題，此外還有人種、種族、宗教、婚姻或家庭狀況，在個別情況下還包括性取向等。因此，求職者也應該避免提及這些話題。此外，謝德補充道：“有些人并不喜歡生日。他們反而希望，不要有人提醒他要過生日了?！?/p>

????但與此同時，最成功的求職面試往往是那些能夠產生一些私人接觸的面試。技巧就是，找到一個與受法律保護信息不相干的話題，不過要找到這樣的話題，通常并不容易。

????比如，假設一位面試官的辦公室里貼滿了孩子的照片，而他們恰好與你的孩子年齡相仿。這時，你可能會說：“好可愛的孩子！”但你最好就此打住。因為，求職者有幾個孩子，或孩子多大，這些問題在通常情況下是禁止面試官提及的。理論上來講，這些問題的答案可能影響面試官對于求職者能否全身心投入工作的判斷。所以，何必主動交代呢？

????那么，面試時，哪些私人話題是可以提到的呢？謝德指出：“別忘了，任何一名招聘經理都在想：‘如果讓我每天跟這個人一起工作，我會高興嗎？’所以，求職者可以盡量尋找一些共同點，使面試官在公事之外，還能與自己產生一些聯系。但僅限于一些中性話題，比如你們都喜歡的體育隊?！比绻銈兦『脕碜酝粋€州，上過同一所大學，隸屬同一個行業協會，或者有共同的熟人，這些也可以作為閑聊的話題。

????Dear Annie: I am applying for my dream job with a software company. So far, I've made it past the phone interview and a technical competency screening, and the next step is an in-person interview. I looked up this hiring manager on LinkedIn and noticed that we will be meeting on the interviewer's birthday. Would it be okay to say "happy birthday"? Or would it be weird to reveal that I've been researching this person? I'm assuming that bringing a card to the interview would be overkill, or would it? — Curious

????Dear Curious: Interesting question. "My first reaction was, 'why not say happy birthday?'" says Doug Schade, a principal consultant at recruiting and staffing firm WinterWyman. "After all, if the hiring manager put his or her date of birth on a LinkedIn profile, it's public information. So what harm could it do to mention it?"

????Of course, with everyone Googling everyone else these days, and checking out each other's LinkedIn and Facebook profiles, it's easier than it's ever been to gather lots of details about people. A new poll from executive job board TheLadders.com says that 62% of job seekers study up on interviewers before meeting them, while just 35% research only the company. "No interviewer is likely to be surprised that you've looked up his or her LinkedIn profile," Schade says. "In fact, it's expected."

????Still, on second thought, Schade recommends skipping the birthday wishes. The reason is one that he says many job seekers overlook. "A job interview is different from an ordinary conversation that you might have with anyone else, because it is hemmed around with legal issues," Schade notes. "Certain topics are off-limits for an interviewer, by law. If you bring up any of them, you risk putting that hiring manager in an awkward position."

????Age is among the factors -- along with race, ethnicity, religion, marital or family status and, in some places, sexual orientation -- that interviewers have to steer clear of, so job candidates should, too. "Besides, some people don't like birthdays," Schade adds. "They'd prefer not to be reminded that they're having one."

????At the same time, the most successful job interviews are those that spark some personal connection. The trick is to find one that's unrelated to anything protected by law, and that's not always easy.

????For instance, let's say an interviewer has photos of his kids all over his office, and they happen to look about the same age as yours. You might remark, "Cute kids!" but you'd be wise to leave it at that. Since interviewers generally aren't allowed to ask you how many children you have or how old they are -- on the theory that the answers could affect their perception of how distracted (or not) you might be as an employee -- don't volunteer the information.

????So what kinds of personal stuff are okay to bring up? "Don't forget, any hiring manager is wondering, 'Would I enjoy working with this person every day?'" Schade points out. "So try to find some common ground, where you connect with the interviewer in some way beyond just business. But keep it to neutral topics like a sports team you both follow." If by chance you grew up in the same state, went to the same college, belong to the same trade association, or have mutual acquaintances, those are all fine fodder for small talk, too.