????我不喜歡Facebook公司。我就要這么說。你知道嗎，實話實說的感覺好極了。我不喜歡，不喜歡，就是不喜歡Facebook！我覺得，還有很多人都有我這種感覺，只是他們不好意思這么說罷了。我們的流行文化機器和后工業資本主義的貪婪引擎已經聯起手來，炮制了這么一個碩大無朋、輿論趨同的大泡沫，而我們大家還都置身于這個泡沫中向外打量。不過，這么做真沒道理。之前那些類似的泡沫早就破滅了。說白了，所有泡沫到頭來都得破滅。這就是泡沫的宿命。

????男人以前都習慣戴軟呢帽?，F在呢？只有時髦人物才這么干，不過挖苦味十足。呼啦圈早就消失得不見蹤影了。同樣下場的還有：中層管理人員穿的背帶褲，人人在辦公室里抽煙喝酒的習氣，微金屬音樂（hair metal, 微金屬是一個用以諷刺的術語，用于那些80年代后期以流行樂為起源的重金屬和重型搖滾樂隊——編者注），還有性愛自由。諸位盡可以把我歸為反潮流分子、勒德分子（Luddite，害怕或者厭惡技術的人——譯注）、落伍分子。不過我就是不相信，以后人人還會總想著到網上分享些啥。

????實際上，我就不喜歡跟人分享。我可不會分享自己的牙刷。我也不會分享自己的豬排，除非你眨巴著大眼睛、顫抖著雙唇，輕聲細語地問我要一點，我可能會讓你咬一口。我不分享自己的思想，除非是為了求愛或是賺錢。我不想讓你看到我在鮑勃生日聚會上拍的照片。我也不想看你拍的卡桑德拉蹣跚學步的照片，也不想看到你在“西南偏南”（South by Southwest，于奧斯汀舉辦的影音科技文化嘉年華——編者注）上出席社交媒體研討會的視頻。我尤其不想看這個！

????我的所謂“好友”并不是我真正的朋友?，F實生活中，我也許有那么四五個真正的朋友。大家知根知底，因為我們經常見面，常常把酒言歡。另一方面，我在網上所謂的“好友”其實就是一群不同生活階段中結交的前同事和舊情人，一群烏合之眾而已，我對他們根本沒什么興趣了，但他們都還在我Facebook賬戶的留言墻上，那里貼滿了他們的高見，各式小照片，還有這樣那樣的職場吐槽。我也討厭這墻上的自己。這家伙是誰呢？山寨版的我自己？

????我也討厭被營銷。這也是為什么Facebook無處不在的原因，它就是個超級巨大的營銷工具。也許一開始它還有點真玩意，比如讓哈佛（Harvard）的學生用它尋覓意中人。但現在呢？它就知道營銷，不是推廣嘻哈音樂和精神病藥物，就是猜誰會成為當地下一屆參議員。如果你想兜售點什么東西，那就上Facebook吧！好吧，我可不想去“贊”一下（like）漢堡王（Burger King），雖然我確實喜歡漢堡王。

????前不久，我在舊金山和一些人共進午餐。這座城市盛產泡沫，而且善于把泡沫變成真金白銀。這些人都創辦過三四家初創公司了。這些公司多數都價值上千萬美元。它們不生產任何東西，主要業務就是創造這么一個公司化實體，被其他人高價收購后，立即再次轉賣或是拋售。大家喝著濃縮咖啡，分發小甜餅，這時，其中一個家伙不無得意地說：“我們這筆交易募集了10億美元。大概2.5億美元用于業務。其余7.5億美元都被投資人撈走了！”話音剛落，就引來眾人的一片笑聲，大家紛紛點頭附和。

????I don't like Facebook. There, I said it, and you know what? It felt good. I don't like Facebook I don't like Facebook I don't like Facebook. I have a feeling there are a lot of people who feel the way I do but are ashamed to say so. Our pop culture machine has come together with the greedy engine of post-industrial capitalism to produce a gigantic bubble of consensus, and we're all inside that bubble looking out. But there's no reason for it, not really. Bubbles just like it have popped before. In fact, in the end, all bubbles pop. That's what bubbles do.

????Men all used to wear fedoras. Now only hipsters do, with irony. Hula-Hoops are gone, as are suspenders for mid-level executives, ubiquitous smoking, drinking at the office, hair metal bands, and free love. Call me a reactionary. Call me a Luddite. Call me late for dinner. But I can't believe that in the future everybody is going to continue to want to share things.

????In fact, I hate sharing things. I don't share my toothbrush. I don't share my pork chop, although if you ask me nicely with big eyes and a trembling lip I might give you a bite. I don't share my thoughts, except for love or money. I don't want you to see my pictures of Bob's birthday party. I don't want to see your pictures of Cassandra's first steps, or that video of you on that panel at South by Southwest about social media. Particularly not that.

????My Friends are not my friends. In reality, I have maybe four or five actual friends. They know who they are, because now and then I see them, usually over drinks. My Friends, on the other hand, are a ragtag bunch of former associates and failed loves from various phases of my life, in whom I have no interest whatsoever. Yet there they are on my Facebook wall, with their observations and grainy little photographs and professional extrusions of one sort or another. I hate myself on my wall, too. Who is that person? Is he really that bogus?

????I hate being Marketed to, too. That's Facebook (FB) all over, just one gigantic tool. Maybe in the beginning it had something genuine about it, like Harvard students looking for sex. But now? Now it's all about Marketing, like hip-hop and psychotropic medication and who's going to be your next senator. If you want to sell something, you gotta be on Facebook! Well, I don't want to Like Burger King, although I do like Burger King.

????I was at a lunch the other day with some people in San Francisco, where bubbles are born and monetized. Everybody was on his third or fourth startup, most worth hundreds of millions of dollars from business activity that had produced nothing but an entity that had been acquired at great cost by another that immediately diffused or abandoned it. "We raised $1 billion on that deal," said one proudly as the tiny cookies were passed around over the decaf espressos. "About $250 million went to the business. And $750 million went to investors!" Then there was a bunch of chuckling and nodding.