辦公室有人哭了，如何應對？

????眾所周知，職場可不是適合放聲大哭的地方。但這種事有時候難免發生。你的憤怒或沮喪會變成淚水奪眶而出?；蛘哂型聲蝗魂J進來，趴在你的辦公桌上啜泣不已。

????不論是自己流淚，還是看到別人流淚，面對這種意外情況，你該如何應對？

????人們為什么會在工作中哭泣？

????首先，我們需要找出人們在辦公室哭泣的原因。有時候，激烈的爭論或沖突會導致一方因為憤怒或沮喪而流淚。在面對壓力或感覺無能為力的時候，哭泣或許是一種很好的減壓方式?；蛟S，你只是因為個人的困難或生活中的損失而感到傷心。

????有時候，我們會因為別人頗具同情心的表情或傾聽而忍不住流下淚水。華盛頓特區律師獵頭公司Garrison & Sisson的合伙人丹?賓斯托克就曾遇到過這種情況。賓斯托克為一個新工作崗位招聘的律師來到他的辦公室。這位律師此前剛剛通知現在律所的合伙人他要離開，并為此深感內疚。不一會兒，那個人便哭了起來。

????賓斯托克回憶道：“看得出來，他經歷過一番折磨。這種令大家失望的感覺和其他人對他的反應，深深影響著他。當時他已經極度敏感，因為要跳槽而面臨巨大的壓力，這種情緒令他精疲力竭?！?/p>

????幾年前，盛德國際律師事務所（Sidley Austin）投資管理業務部的全球聯席主管勞林?布魯門塔爾?克萊曼，收到一個糟糕的通知：她第二個兒子就讀的學校拒絕在秋天繼續給他提供上學機會。兒子的特殊需求讓她很難找到合適的學校，而且當時再去找其他學校已經為時已晚?？巳R曼回憶道：“我們本來認為他會在那里取得成功，根本沒有備選方案，結果卻被拋棄?！?/p>

????于是，她找老板請假，去解決孩子的擇校問題和一些必須參加的會議。她說道：“他看起來非常關心我的事，所以我禁不住哭了起來?！?/p>

????如何應對淚水

????加州大學哈斯汀法學院（University of California Hastings School of Law）教授喬安?威廉姆斯建議，如果你因為工作問題導致的沮喪而哭泣，不要忽視這種情況。相反，要說出來：“我之所以在哭泣，是因為我很生氣。這就是我真正憤怒時候的樣子?！?/p>

????如果可以的話，把問題擺在桌面上進行討論。如果做不到，也不必道歉，但威廉姆斯表示，要告訴對方：“下面我們先中斷討論吧，因為我發現情況有些麻煩。如果我做好了繼續談話的準備，我會告訴大家?！?/p>

????關鍵是要承認導致自己情緒爆發的情感或環境，但沒有必要道歉。賓斯托克表示：“如果你開始道歉，對方會感覺不舒服，這樣會讓兩個人都難受?！笔聦嵣?，如果你是因為對方的同情反應而哭泣，“更沒有理由因為有人讓你宣泄自己的情緒而向對方表示歉意?！?/p>

????We all know the workplace isn’t the best place to cry. But sometimes it just happens. Your anger or frustration boils over into tears. Or perhaps a co-worker bursts in and sobs at your desk.

????Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of unexpected waterworks, how do you handle this situation?

????Why people cry at work

????First, let’s address why people might cry in the office. Sometimes a heated argument or conflict will push one party to the point of tears, from anger or frustration. Or the sobs could come as a welcome release of tension from stress or feeling powerless. Maybe you’re simply sad because of a personal struggle or a loss in your life.

????Often, the tears bubble to the surface because someone gives a sympathetic look or ear. That’s what happened to Dan Binstock, a partner at attorney search firm Garrison & Sisson in Washington D.C. A lawyer whom Binstock had recruited to a new job came into the office after giving notice to his current partners and being subjected to a guilt trip for leaving them. In just a few minutes, the man started crying.

????“I could tell he had been through the wringer,” Binstock recalls. “It was that feeling of disappointing everyone and how they were manipulating him. It wore him out at a time when he was already extremely sensitive and had a lot of stress from moving his practice.”

????Some years ago, Laurin Blumenthal Kleiman, global co-head of Sidley Austin’s investment management practice, received the unwelcome news that her middle son’s school wouldn’t offer him a place in the fall. Her son’s special needs had made finding the right educational fit a challenge in the first place, and it was a time of year when it was too late to find another school placement easily. “He was being tossed from the one environment where we thought he could succeed and there was no alternative,” Kleiman recalls.

????She approached her boss to ask for time away from work so she could manage the school search and mandatory meetings. “He looked so concerned that I just started weeping,” she says.

????How to respond to tears

????If you’re crying because of frustration with a work issue, don’t ignore the situation, advises Joan Williams, professor at the University of California Hastings School of Law. Instead, say, “When I’m crying, it’s because I’m pissed. This is what it looks like when I am really outraged.”

????Continue speaking about the issue on the table if you physically can. If not, don’t apologize, but say, “now we’re going to discontinue this discussion because I find what happened just that troubling. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to continue this conversation,” Williams says.

????The key is to acknowledge the emotion or the circumstances that led to your outburst, but don’t apologize for it. “When you start apologizing, it takes one person’s discomfort and makes two people uncomfortable,” Binstock says. Indeed, if you’re crying because of a sympathetic response, “there’s no reason to apologize that you feel comfortable enough with someone to let your emotions out.”